i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
