Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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