fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
