HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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