let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
