so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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