SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
