As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize