Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
they're like a gay fantastic four
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
