I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There are leaves in my underwear?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
