we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
