Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
