Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i drank out of a bidet.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
