Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
