Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
how does that bad decision feel?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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