Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
