2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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