man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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