I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
