My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
