Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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