all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I could fuck to npr.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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