I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
