i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
