i can't believe i had my finger in that
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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