I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
