My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
