I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she looked like the before picture.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
