what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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