So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
