i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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