Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Fuck appropriateness.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
