I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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