I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
