she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
