I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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