dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
