glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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