So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
