used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
