I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
