I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
