so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
