She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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