and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
