I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
