I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
