i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
