I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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