nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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