Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
