You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
