I must be too annoying 4 u.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
