I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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