i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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