it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize