did you get engaged???
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
