I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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